Do you want to know what is the shittiest combination of sicknesses to have? Influenza A and gastroenteritis (commonly known as the stomach flu). The flu is a respiratory ailment that gave me violent fits of coughing and sneezing. My coughs sound like a dozen cats coughing up furballs all at once, and my sneezes registered 5 on the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Scale. Now couple those symptoms with the stomach flu’s symptoms and you have a party. One wayward sneeze and I’d have to throw out a good pair of shorts.

I think I’m finally at a point where my body can resume normal operation. Get a flu shot.