iPhone Re-Reviewed (Verdict: Don’t Buy) - Gizmodo

Dear Apple,

Well I guess it’s official - I cannot buy an iPhone. I’m in complete agreement with the above article and my disgust with you has gone up a bit - what happened to you, Apple, we were so close? If it weren’t for the hackers, Bootcamp never would have happened. You went from “boutique” cool to “uppity” cool. Why don’t you give me this? Does it really hurt your pocketbook that much? Is it that bad-influence, AT&T? I never did like her and I don’t want you hanging out with her anymore. WHY CAN’T YOU BE MORE LIKE APPLE OF 2006?!?! I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean to yell. BUT…

You are totally acting selfishly. We’ve been together almost from the beginning - remember playing Lemonade Stand and Mystery House on my Apple IIc at home? In elementary school we learned that diarrhea can kill you on the Oregon Trail. You hated how I used my Apple II in college to help Leisure Suit Larry get laid but remember that I also did productive things like learn ProDOS! Even though I hid you from my PC friends in my professional life I still used your extension- and frustration-rich Mac OS 9 on my G3. FU for that operating system by the way. Now I sit here typing this letter on my MacBook Pro with tears streaming down my face. Not literally. I’m no pussy. But things have changed and I want to put 3rd party apps on all my gadgets. All over my gadgets…

All those things I bought from you and now you treat me like a child? Well, I WANT to use other apps. You never expressed that you wanted to be exclusive before. That’s why I had all those PC’s - loads of them. Is this why you won’t let me use Remote Control from the iPhone if I got one? I just think it’s time that you release this stranglehold on me. If you want this to work you’ll let other apps into the relationship. It’s the only way.

Until then, keep your stupid iPhone,
Mark

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